Little Brother's Guide to Pleasing Your Older Brothers

Growing up the youngest of 4 was tough. There was the constant competition, the battle of 'who's clothes are these', hormonal psychopathy, and food portion debates. It is very hard being the youngest, and I am offering up this guide to help all those other youngest siblings in need of aid.

Disclaimer: This is directed more towards pleasing brothers; or butch sisters.

1: Treat Them Equally
For those of you who have only one older sibling, this may not apply to you. For those of us who have multiple older siblings, the one thing you need to know is treating your brothers equally is very key. No this isn't one of those civil rights movements, this is a selfish time management technique. If you give one brother more attention than the other, the others will become jealous and make you pay for it in some fashion undesirable to you. Now my brothers will deny this, because I chose the "little attention as possible" route. This includes not caring, not asking questions about the long term effects of their lives, ignoring their friends, and avoid their messes.

There are still really close friends of my brothers whose names I still do not know.

Please note that this is different from you trying to get attention from them

2: Utilize Your Gifts
Although my parents will contest to my unspoiled and independent nature, I would still use the powers of "youngest child". By being the youngest, I was automatically the cutest and sweetest child who needed the most care and attention from adults. Having this power with adults, the best way to please your brothers is to use your gifts to THEIR advantage. Unfortunately, I only used my gifts to MY advantage due to my 'not caring' policy; but I urge you to throw your older siblings a bone every so often.

3: Take Care Of Yourself
For parents, having multiple children, especially if their age difference is somewhat significant, leads to a babysitting bill of $0. Of course, the older siblings aren't necessarily keen on this duty, often leading to resentment. The best way to alleviate this issue is become super mature at an early age, so that you may take care of yourself when the parents are away. Learn how to make PB&J sandwiches; build your arm strength so you can get the water jug out of the fridge and pour you some of that!; learn to read or do math to occupy your time; Go in the backyard and sing to the trees; most importantly do not rely on your older siblings for these things or they will have more power over you.

4: Feed Them
Food is one hell of a drug. Learning how to prepare food is very essential to this process. Now not everyone is blessed enough to have a Miss Sister Jefferson down the street (candy store lady of the millennium); so this may require a little finesse. One thing you have in your favor of helping feed your older siblings, is that you have the same DNA and most likely will enjoy the same things. But the most important skill you will need to use to properly complete this task is to channel your inner fat kid. You will be trying a lot of different food stuffs to get that perfect recipe.

For Wash it was simple. A peanut butter sandwich and a slice of cheese. Done.

Marieaux was a little trickier to find out, but the conclusion was as long as it wasn't cornbread stuffing or dressing, he'd eat it - if you made it for him. Sometimes the best food is something someone made for you.

Andre required the inner fat kid (well I'm a real fat kid lets be honest). After months of trying, this dish was able to calm the 9 year senior's inner beast: bologna and grape jelly sandwich.

Needless to say I am currently a culinary master.

5: Like The Same Things; Or Fake It
No matter what you're into, the one thing that will bring a smile on your older siblings faces is that you enjoy the things they enjoy. It didn't matter that I wanted sit on the floor and read books and do math all day, I needed to expand my horizons. Having brothers, sports (including wrestling) was all I needed. You only need one thing, so be prepared. Watching ESPN will give you all the information you need to strike up a conversation. Even if you have a sister, ESPN has something for her. Just spout out some random facts you heard the commentator say and you'll be set. Make sure you know which sports they enjoy, its a safe bet that Football and Basketball are on that list.

6: Show Them Your Power
This tip comes from the old saying "if they do it once, they won't do it again". If things are a little rocky with your relationship with your siblings, show them that you have the power to embarrass them and that you're not afraid to use it. This skill may require you to be an extrovert, but introverts can also use this one tip. There are many ways to embarrass your older siblings in their teenage years, and if you pay the right amount attention to what they do, you'll know how to do this. If you don't know, then one sure fire way to do it is old baby pictures.

Parents love taking pictures of their kids doing silly things, then putting them somewhere for a walk down memory lane. But it's just not the picture itself, but a good caption for the picture will always help. For example:
Color Swatch
Big Head; you know which one
Static Shock Baby

Be creative. Use it once. Then they'll know that keeping you happy and being friends is the best way to prevent this from happening again.

7: Talk Them Up
The ego of an older sibling is very fragile, so whenever you can, talk them up. Its always special to know that your little brother/sister talks well about you. It makes their self-esteem go up, and it keeps them happy. They're your role model, and no role model is going to want to do bad things to or around those who are modeling them. Consequently, this is also another way to get them to do things you want, like drive you to the store or buy you a dixie cup.

8: Become An Expert
New things come out all the time, and the best thing for you to do is to become an expert in one of those things that you older siblings may be interested in. Because once you're the expert, they'll have to be nice to get the information from you. For me, it was the CD burner. Once it came out, I worked one summer and bought one for the family computer. It was mine and I was the expert in it. I didn't even like CDs, and to this day own maybe 3? 4? All of them Britney Spears (not sorry). But the fact of the matter is that they had to come to me about how to properly use the burner. Insta-respect and they stayed happy when they received the information.

9: Cookies
Give them cookies. Cookies solves many a problem.

10: The Last Resort
If all else fails, you can try this trick that worked for me. Be bigger than them. Once you're bigger than them, you don't have to take any of their crap. Yeah there's the "I'm older than you card" but that only usually worked because they were also bigger than you. Once you are bigger, they won't use that card too often. Most of the time, all you have to do is stand and give them the "I Wish A M***** F***** Would" look, and you win. And everyone likes winning. They'll stay pleased because you haven't stepped on their neck.

Conclusion
These tips may not work for everyone, but this will get you started in the right direction of being a successful youngest sibling.

I like to give them cookies, and watch them fight over them. ~!Antoine!~